July 05, 2015

Jamie Bryson - Latex Loyalist

Being born middle class but believing you're loyalist. 
Jamie Bryson is a middle class imposter. Just as Hitler wasn't German, Jamie Bryson isn't Working Class protestant. (I invoke Godwin's Law as a point of irony because Bryson does it so regularly.) This has been the grand sham of Northern Ireland since December 3 2012: The self-appointed loyalist big mouth isn't even working class.
Jamie Bryson is a Latex Loyalist from the yacht lined Gold Coast of Northern Ireland - North Down's Donaghadee. Yes our luminary of loyalism is not WC but reared in a detached in middle class suburbia. The only thing WC about Bryson is the Water Cabin effluent that comes from his mouth.

I read Bryson and think, 'What world is this dude living in?! A world where protestants are brutally beat of the street and viciously, systematically oppressed?'

Then suddenly it made sense. Just as the most rapidly republican are delusional Irish Americans - synthetic plastic paddies - so our most loyal loyalist is a non-Working Class prod - a synthetic Latex Loyalist. Between these polarised fakers there's a bizarre harmony of hatred; the plastic paddies at the America's Ancient Order of Hibernians shriek "PSNI-RUC", while our Latex Loyalist cries "PSNI-IRA."

He suffers from the "zeal of a convert", it's a classic case. Some of the fiercest Irish republicans have been English, like Seán Mac Stíofáin. One of the blood-thirstiest loyalists is suspected of Catholic ancestry, Lenny Murphy.

Bryson is a post-code convert; and like the converts before him - think Eamonn de Valera (American), Napoleon (Corsican), Hitler (Austrian) - Bryson's zealotry is compensation for his absolute zero loyalist or working class credentials. Nobody is as pious or loyally loyal as the loyalist convert.

There you have it. Brysonism, euphemism for fraudulence. To finish, addressing some of Bryson's attacks on me.

My life has not been one of privilege, and this shameless ad hominem swipe does not deserve the dignity of a response. My parents worked hard, did without and encouraged me to seek a good education. We cannot allow thugishness, intimidation and the bigotry of low expectations to outlaw the "middle class" voice. Bizarrely in this case we have a self-loathing middle-class "loyalist" assailing someone for being middle class, I need say no more.

Bryson talks about ship yard workers and yodels about some weird antebellum Ulster. Height of nostalgic, delusional abstraction. As Brian Walker wrote, most unionists back then saw themselves as pro-Union Irish. Parnell said that Home Rule could not afford to lose a single Irishman. Likewise, the Union then and now cannot afford to lose a single Irishman. Meanwhile Bryson's "flag on every lamppost", "biblical protestantism" is lavatory-wall patriotism, lavatory wall loyalism - positively anti-Union.

As for my inferiority complex because I cite other writers, well this is standard practice, something I picked up from doing my law degree. Jamie being a fellow law graduate should surely know this?

I've seen Bryson talk on platform. He models himself on Paisley. He is no Paisley, but a diminutive demagogue. The only thing he shares with Paisley is that he's a county boy blow-in who misinforms and propagandises credulous Working Class protestants. End the Bryson sham, counterfeit loyalist.

As for me being LAD. Just as Jamie said you can be rabidly anti-Agreement and pro-Peace, so you can be rabidly pro-LAD, even a LAD fanboy like me, and not be LAD. End the tedium of LAD-hunt. I am a fan of LAD, I am not LAD.

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